who signed my pay checks and could crush my entire career with one stare? Yeah. Him. Apparently, that fell under "assisting the assist

e was some overgrown five-year-old with a power complex and a personal chef. The restaurant downstair

, ri

on

lms were sweaty, my glasses kept sliding down my nose, and I may or may not have rehearsed how to say "Good afterno

ting against the tray I was holding. Lunch. S

ock, I told myself. Just knock and walk in. S

is was Na

e

had this way of looking at people that made them

breath an

espo

intly: "

G

he expensive rug or my own feet. I stepped inside

edge of nothing a

hing t

then

plattered. Sandwiches squa

g near it but not touching. My brain said move, get u

there. Froze

I heard h

n

no, n

ou inj

Calm. Too calm. I

pen up and eat me. My glasses had flown off in the fall and

again, softer t

ey

rushed und

lin

d my fac

h

e he

ything. Everything. And suddenly, I was way too aware of my pink cheek

t dare

bout to beat o

en he

rough me-like I was some shiny new toy

...he

sonab

errif

up to my ears. My eyes widened. I didn't kn

be Charl

lowed.

– I–I brought y-y

eone please

small my v

icked up my glasses,

brushed when

ombusted o

im-but only for a second. His eyes felt l

w. "You're not going to stay

sir. Defin

ke that would somehow erase the fact that I had j

ry, sir. I-I did

top

s smi

t... am

is jumpy, or i

short-c

... I m-mean, y-yes

shut up

be normal for

in, nearly knocking them

okay to breath

d on my

like he was hold

unless I'm

e body w

h

at

hat a

pposed t

not

even possible. I could feel the heat

sked, watching me like I was some

ed. Ra

ared t

rts. In t

ep back, giv

wallow me whole-not space. I was still standing like an idiot,

to collect what little dignity I had left. My hand reached for the juice c

ust ki

y. I c-can-I can

s fi

rough my panic,

fr

f "It's fine" someone says before they

unsure if moving

ng a little exasperated. "Just stand up

anywhere but on him-his desk, the wall, the floor, the same floor I wanted to mel

s I li

ldn't I

is desk like none of this bothered him at all. "You di

han an actual person. My hands were still clenched in front of me,

. Just

back into his chair, "Yo

ast I nearly dislocated

." He paused, and I could feel his

heat explod

I wa

been working unde

week, sir. T-this is my

ve been ou

speak. My tongue did

ke it s

veryone's been r-really kind.

id. "He prefe

y glasses again, wishing

is voice dipping lower-dangerous

y-you're-" I stopped, no clue how to finish that sent

save,

smi

n

his hands on the desk. "T

hitched. "

ered, or do I just hav

ed my

ng ca

osed

ened it

othing

know w-what

hand, looking at me like I was a puzzle h

my face-my neck, my chest. If I looked

o. T-to c-clean

ood up before I could. My breath caught again as he c

e. Way t

just fine here, Charlie. Just... t

fixed on the floor again. I couldn't look

bre

. Bre

e I'd been underwat

od

h

n

just s

as definite

again, my shoes slipping slightly o

all, and far enough away that I could finally collapse

ust ha

ore, welco

stop w

on-thank God-because my brain? Yeah, that thing short-circuited somewhere be

force. It takes forever, of course. Of course it does. I'm standing there, eyes stinging, pal

ings, I dive in like it's

hroom like I'm on some kind of emergency mission-which, let's be honest, I a

hen I

lid, bury my face in my ha

nside. I don't even know what I'm crying about more-falling like an idiot, making a fool of myself in front

calls my aunt and tells her I'm incom

into my eyes, trying to stop

eel the weight of his eyes on me. He looked at me like... like

's almos

r under my breath, "Ge

my head now. I can practically hea

etheart? Gonna need to start p

gh the tears. It sound

rather not smell like one too. I wipe at my face with a tissue from my pocket, check my

I'm just going to say I feel unwell and go home before I cause any more

arbud in, posture relaxed. He looks like he's having a productive, n

at softly to ge

d, and gives a polite nod. "Hey

"I... I'm not feeling well. I think

ut not alarmed. "Do you need medical assista

o rest. It's probably nothing serious. I just.

face like he's reading between the lines. But i

know. Take the rest of the day, and keep me updated to

floor. "Thank you, Mr-u

e. Hope you fe

toward the elevators again, trying to walk stead

doors close, I let out a breath I

of Top 3 Worst Days Ever. Possi

up in something oversized and soft, and

ng to hold the pieces of myself together. Every sound is too loud. Every jolt of the train feels like it might sha

he apartment, my limb

m is dim, lit only by the flicker of the TV, but Mia's al

I barely get a "Hey-" out before she cuts in wit

Okay

t of my shoes, keeping my

d. I swear, if one more guy at that god forsaking bar makes a

ice. She's already turning back to the TV, clearly d

lly want to

ms a response. The moment my door clicks shut behind me, I

thing

And even though all I want is to sleep and pretend

lo-fi music playing softly. It's my usual routine to calm down. But t

th

es that looked at me like... li

up my face. The way his hand touched my arm, firm

od

es fl

o fast, hea

embarrassment. Not the tray. Not the fact that I m

o

way he

. he m

o the bed, suddenly too warm. My hands are

wrong

like this before. About anyone.

.. I don't know. Nothing. Or maybe a la

like I was something precious and fra

switch

my lips, as if that'

doe

...

i

even

ird, squirmy, hot-in-the-face, knees-weak kind of feeling. That hap

ow that i

an H

probably goin

ce in my pil

ot now. Not when I'm final

hed. To be seen. To be called " a good boy" in that

... terr