Forbidden Love Volume

CHAPTER ONE

THE BEGINNING

I had gone to sleep very early the previous night because I was so tired from the recent training and preparations of war against the kingdom of Maracath and I had the same dream I had been relieving since my parent's tragedy all over again with no details left out. I spotted my younger self running through a field of dandelions as I let the air sweep my hair back and I inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers that lingered in the air. I felt at peace, it felt like heaven.

"Ava'', I heard a familiar voice call my name. I turned back and I saw my mother walking towards me dressed in a white satin gown that complimented her fair skin. Her blond hair fell graciously down her shoulders to her waist. And her brown eyes... The warmth that spread through my heart looking into them was euphoric. God, she was the definition of beauty and perfection.

"Mama'', I shouted as I ran towards her with my arms open.

Now here comes the ugly part, I thought in my sleep. As I ran towards my mother who stood smiling at me with open arms, I suddenly felt the earth disappear from my feet. A gasp escaped my mouth and before I could blink, I started falling down a dark endless space. I shouted at the top of my voice that my throat was scarred. But my screams were soon muffled by water rushing into my mouth and nostrils. I looked around in panic and I saw that I was surrounded by water. I was in the water! I was drowning! I panicked in terror and kicked viciously as the air in my lungs was replaced with water I tried to breathe and I coughed gasping for air, instead more water rushed in. Eventually, it felt like everything was coming to an end as my body became numb. My lungs weighed heavily with water and my eyes felt heavy.

No, I can't die, not here, not now, I tried to fight back with my thoughts, but it was late. My weight was already sinking me deep into the darkness and the little light I could see slowly disappeared.

With a loud gasp, I woke from the horrific dream. I looked around and sat up on my bed panting heavily as beads of perspiration trickled down my face.

"God'', I exhaled. I was supposed to be used to it but it always felt so real every single time that I remember vividly every detail whenever I woke up. I swung my legs down the bed knowing I had to get out of bed early because today was an important day. I was meeting General Declan of the royal army of Talamhth to discuss my plan to join the royal army because if I wanted to survive in this hellhole, I needed power. General Declan of the royal army of Talamhth was a well-respected and influential man. He was one of my father's most trusted men, so he was the right and perfect person to meet.

Someone knocked on the door and before I could answer, the door opened and my handmaid walked in with breakfast in her hands.

"Good morning my lady'', she greeted and bowed.

"Good morning Marie'', I greeted her back, watching as she placed the tray on the table at the center of the room.

"Here is your breakfast my lady. Eat before it gets cold'', she said, turning to me.

She walked to the windows and drew the curtains open. It was a bright day with clear blue skies. The brightness of the risen sun poked my eyes and I blinked severally.

"Shall I draw you a bath?'', I nodded without saying anything and she made her way into the boudoir.

I looked over at the tray of food and my stomach turned. Slowly, I stood up and walked sluggishly to the table. I sat in one of the two chairs and opened the tray lid and the heat that escaped filled my nostrils with the aroma of the food. I fed my eyes scanning the tray; boiled potatoes, scrambled eggs, tea and some fruits. It was appetizing however, I had no appetite, maybe because I was anxious. Anxious because the war against Maracath was the first war I would participate in since I completed my military training a few months ago. I picked up the fork placed on the side of the tray as I adjusted myself in the chair. I picked a chunk of potatoes and let it sit on the fork for a while before putting it into my mouth and I chewed slowly intending to savor the taste. It tasted good but I had a hard time swallowing it, it was like my gut rejected the food. Maybe I really did drown and now my stomach was filled with water, I picked another chunk of potatoes and chewed gently.

Lost in myself I didn't know when Marie came back into the room.

"You have eaten nothing my lady", she said worriedly, grabbing my attention. I turned my head in her direction and found her staring at me with scolding eyes. "You have been eating less for the past few days. Is there anything bothering you that I don't know about? Is it because of the war? Are you scared?''

Within these walls, Marie was always the one who cared and worried about me. She had been taking care of me since my parent's demise even though she was just seven years older than I was. I considered her my elder sister.

"Have you eaten?'', "you shouldn't do that, my lady, you're grown up now'', "Shall I prepare you for sleep?'', those were some of her most used lines to ensure my wellbeing. If not for her, I don't know if I could have survived inside these walls.

She stood there staring at me with those brown eyes that looked just like my mother's. Realizing I still hadn't answered her question, I stood up swiftly and walked toward the boudoir.

"I'm just not hungry, and I don't know why'', I shrugged, answering her long-asked question.

"Still you have to try and eat something, even if it is a little. I shall not pray for you to be killed by hunger when food is abundant'', she scolded. "You need strength to fight, you need strength to go to battle and that strength comes from food'', she added, emphasizing the last word.

When we got into the boudoir, I let my robe slide down my shoulders onto the ground. Marie poured some scented oil into the bath. I stepped into the tub, the water was cold but soothing, exactly how I loved it. I lay in the tub and rested my head on the brim. Marie sat beside the tub, poured some soap and rubbed it on my skin. She took the bathcloth and started washing me.

Being in the water in the tub reminded me of my consistent dream. I thought of my mother and the joy I felt when I saw her. That was the only part of the dream I liked. After bathing, I made my way into the dressing room with Marie and I sat in front of the dresser as water dripped down my wet blond hair. Marie gathered my hair with a towel and dried it, she rubbed scented gel on it and combed it till it was fine. I wore my undergarment and Marie brought me a pair of blue leather trousers, a shirt and some armor.

"You're meeting General Declan this morning'', she reminded me and I nodded.

All of a sudden, the confidence I felt vanished the moment Marie reminded me and I felt my stomach knot with fear and my face turn pale. What if he doesn't agree to help? He is a general, a very influential and powerful man, almost as the king. What if he doesn't like me or what if he disregards me like any other general would? He is the only hope I have and if I fail to convince him then... no! I thought. I have to convince him no matter what, it is up to me whether he helps me or not. I felt Marie's hands on my shoulders.

"It is alright my lady, just be yourself", she said with an encouraging smile.

I took a deep and long breath to calm myself and looked in the mirror, Ava you just have to convince him, that is all, it won't be difficult. Just act natural, I said to myself letting out a deep breath of confidence and went to meet General Declan.